OJ's eternity in Hell

O.J. Simpson (OJ) dies and, of course, goes to Hell, where the Devil (D) himself is waiting for him at the reception. The following ensues:

D: Hey OJ, nice to see you, I've been waiting for you. But there's a little problem.

OJ: What is that?

D: Well, this goddammned recession. There's overcrowding here and, due to budget problems, I can't do the expansion I've been planning, so there's really no room for anymore guests. But I cannot turn you away because I would have a huge PR problem if the media find out. So, what I am going to do is let someone else go to make room for you but... I am going to give you a few different options from which you can choose, OK?

OJ: Sounds fair to me...

D, as they walk down a long corridor: First I am going to give you a chance to take the place of GW Bush, who was always one of my best friends. They stop and open a door, behind which is a big quarry and GW is in there incessantly swinging a pick to break up huge rocks. This is what GW does, day and night; what do you think?

OJ: No, I don't like this idea, my arms and shoulders are not in that great a shape anymore, I couldn't take this.

D: OK, let's look at something else. Behind the next door they open is a huge lake, where Ted Kennedy is standing chest-high in the water; he keeps diving in and coming back up empty-handed.

OJ: No, no, I like this even less; I have never liked the water that much, plus I really can't think of anything I would want to keep diving for; show me something else.

D: OK. They walk down a ways and open another door to a little bedroom. A moaning Bill Clinton is lying on a bed, his hands shackled to the iron headboard, his body tied down so he can barely move. On top of him is Monica Lewinsky, face down, doing what she does best. How about this? It never stops.

OJ, after thinking about it for about ¼ of a second: Yeah, man! I think this is where I want to be.

D: OK Monica, you're free to go.

The End.

Can you think of other alternatives. Post your comments or insults below.

He-haw, he-haw, heee-haaawww.